Journal Through Our Eyes
by Ceysna
Summary: Kagome is a linguist for the local museum in modern day Tokyo. One day the owner, Mr. Taishou, entrusts her with a new project. Translating and restoring an ancient journal. As she turns each page, her eyes cloud over in confusion and anticipation, her mind filling with questions. The loudest of all being, "Why did they have Lord Sesshomaru's Journal?" (Originally posted on Dokuga)
1. Prelude: Kagome's Future, His Past

Kagome's Future, His Past

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own or make money from any of the InuYasha characters. All Rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

_Flash Backs_  
'Thoughts'  
"Speech"  
**"Beast"**

Preview: Kagome's Future, His Past

Sharp, rapid tapping on the oak door startled Kagome out of an almost trance induced state. Looking back down to the iron sword's blade she had been translating the inscriptions from, the ex-time traveler shook her head and sat back in her leather desk chair with a creak of the old springs. Messy bun brushing the back of it, Kagome stretched her arms to get the kinks out of her body. Rubbing her stiff shoulder while looking at the time, Kagome groaned. She'd missed lunch, again.

"Mom is not going to be very happy with me." Sighing, she sat up and shuffled closed her notes while cleaning up her desk. The young _linguist_ call out, "Come in."

The old but gentle, smiling eyes of the museum owner greeted her under big, bushy eyebrows and through half-mooned spectacles. With his long grey braid swinging behind him, almost brushing the wood floor, Mr. Taishou smiled, entering office and closed the door behind him. "Good afternoon Ms. Higurashi," he greeted in his deep, raspy voice, while taking a seat before her desk slowly due to his age and laying a wrapped parcel in his lap.

She smiled warmly in greeting. It making her grayish blue eyes sparkle in the florescent lighting, Kagome stood, bushing her cream colored dress to free it of any wrinkles. Bowing respectfully before heading to her cupboard, she returned the greeting, "Good afternoon, Sir. Would you like some tea?" She gave a sheepish laugh at the lift of a bushy eyebrow and she explained, "I kind of missed lunch again today." At Mr. Taishou's nod, she continued to make tea. Glancing over her shoulder she said with a soft laugh, "I just can't seem to pull myself away from these inscriptions once I start. It's a glimpse into the past and," Kagome took a breath as she turned around with two steaming cups of tea in hand, only to meet the dancing, laughing eyes of her boss. Clearing her throat, she handed him his tea saying a quiet, "Here you are." before sitting back at her desk.

Accepting the tea with a nod and a slightly wrinkled hand, Mr. Taishou chuckled, "Yes, Ms. Higurashi, I know almost exactly what you mean." Glancing over to the swords laying on her desk, he gave a small sigh of longing. Leaning back in his chair, Mr. Taishou cleaned off his spectacles, seeming to consider something before nodding firmly to himself. Replacing said spectacles on to his slight off center nose, he set the tea down then picked up the parcel, tapping it on his knuckles, "Ms. Higurashi, you've worked with us for many years now. We've been good to you, correct?" At her nod, he continued, "Well the simple fact is, your work is outstanding. The translations are spot on and don't get me started on the restorations you've accomplished." Sitting back he gave a snort as he watched her turn pink at the compliment and pick at her simple, cream colored dress under his scrutiny. Tapping the parcel in thought, Mr. Taishou narrowed his eyes, "Because of all of your talent and hard work, I believe you are the one that should take on this 'particular' project."

The way he phrased this caused Kagome to sit up straighter and give it her full attention. Setting her tea cup down, she glanced at the parcel curiously. "What does this project need, translation or restoration?" She asked, watching how he held it delicately and close to his person.

Looking down at the parcel, he explained, "This is a historical document that is on temporary loan to us from one of the oldest families of Japan. The gentleman that lent it to us asked for it to be restored with a typed and translated copy made." Kagome watched Mr. Taishou unwrap the parcel to reveal an extremely old leather-bound _tome_ with chipped and faded writing on the cover. He looked up and delicately placed it on her desk, along with its wrapping, for her to get a better look. Standing back, he declared, "You are to focus only on this document and this document alone until this project is complete to the best of your abilities." With a tilt of his head the light caught the corner of his spectacles, causing his muddy amber eyes to flash sharply as he regarded the petite woman, "Do I make myself clear, Ms. Higurashi? You report to no one but myself until the completion of this projection. Understood?"

Gulping, Kagome glanced nervously at the _tome_ on her desk before meeting her boss' sharp gaze, "Yes sir, Mr. Taishou. I understand completely. If there are any problems, I will either come straight to you or call you right away." At his satisfied nod, she relaxed slightly, standing to gather the cups. "Mr. Taishou, would you like a weekly report as per norm?"

Smiling again in his normal and kind way, causing his eyes to warm and crinkle under big, bushy eyebrows. Mr. Taishou said, "That won't be necessary, just update me when you feel there is something worth mentioning." He turned and left. Leaving Kagome with a _tome_ that now felt less like a project and more like a punishment.

Kagome reached up taking the pen and paint brush out of her hair. Shaking it loose to flow down her back in waves of blue and black, she sighed in bliss relaxing her shoulders more, "Much better. I just never know how to react to Mr. Taishou. He's sweet and kind, but sometimes he can be intimidating for an old man. Now then," She said as she looked down at the old tome on her desk. Picking up the giant book and scooting closer to her desk with an excited and curious gleam in her eyes at the prospect of a new adventure, "Let's see what secrets you hold."

A.N.: First of all, I am posting this on , I originally posted it on Dokuga. After seeing the response it got, I thought I'd post here as well. Have an account, may as well use it, right?

HI! So, yeah, this is my first FF in 11 yrs, please be kind! If anyone has comments other than Reviews (I love 'em!) Please send me a PM, ;^) I'll answer you as soon as RL isn't chaos. Beta Smo! Thanks Girly! This would have never seen the light of the webs if not for you!

Linguist: Someone who is skills in many languages. These people are sometimes employed by museums to translate old or even dead languages to a modern tongue.  
Tome: A very large and/or old book. Sometimes they were as large as 2ft across, 3ft tall, 10inches deep, or larger. These were used as the historic documents or record for things like kingdoms. All of it, every page, was hand written until the press was invented.

Thanks, Ceysna


	2. Ch 1: Her Discovery, His Secret Pain

_Ch. 1: Her Discovery, His Secret Pain_

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own or make money from any of the InuYasha characters. All Rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

A.N.: Sorry for the late update! Life took a chunk out of me bum! Here you go, so Happy Reading!

_Flash Backs/Journal Entries_

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

**"Beast"**

Chapter 1: Her Discovery, His Secret Pain

Kagome had a hard time deciphering the faded script at first. The age and wear were making it rather difficult to make them out the ancient script. Squinting her sapphire eyes in confusion, not to mention the obvious, what looked like scratch marks distorting the aged parchment. After a few hours of copying down a few of what little markings she could find, Kagome headed over to one of the many book shelves in her office. She wanted to see if any of these might contain a match to some of the markings so she could begin translating the rest.

Almost another hour went by before she was able to find what she was looking for. Settling back at her desk, the retired priestess began scribbling down meticulously every sign and symbol she could find that would help her decode the document in front of her. She wanted nothing more than to find. Trying to piece together the story these pages told. The scratch of pen on paper was the only one echoing throughout the office for many hours. When Kagome had translated the majority of the page, the rush ofvictory had pulsed through her, but she found something unexpected. Her eyes widened as she read the words, lips parting as she forced herself to take a deep breath. Like a moth to the flame, she was drawn to the words on the page, written by a being she remembered quite well.

~~_The Journal_~~

_ I finally did it, this Sesshomaru taught that low class fool his place. I defeated Sensei, and Father laughed at him, said he was too soft on me. Said he let me win. Father has a strange sense of humor if he laughs at his only pup nearly getting chopped in half, and then calling that going too easy! Inu no Taishou, my Sire, is a great war general of the West. He is proficient with any weapon and skilled in many styles of hand to hand. He is also the king of pranks and master of those with a twisted sense of humor. My Father, the twisted Inu of the West, it is sad really._

_ I defeated my sword Sensei in battle today as the heir to the west should. At least that is what Mother would say. Mother, on the other hand, she was not very pleased. She thinks it took me too long to defeat sensei and that I was acting like a pup. She often calls me weak for studying things other than battle and swords. This Sesshomaru's dame is only desires perfection from her bloodline, nothing less or it is cut short. InuKimi of the Silver Inu that worship the moon goddess, my dame; she is as cold, with claws as sharp, as a sword, but she is far more precise and much deadlier. She is beautiful, intelligent, calculating and skilled, everything a __perfect__ Lady of the West should be. There was not a soul in the West that could defeat her, not even Father. She was the top general of my grandfather's royal army for the Moon Kingdom before my father came along. He had to go to her grandfather for her hand. Using tricks and bribery, he made a deal with the Great Dog to get the best bitch. My Mother, the cold diamond blade of the Moon always beautiful, deadly and unbreakable, but never satisfied._

_ This Sesshomaru is their only heir. He thinks the only reason my dame let me live was for the marking on my brow. For I hear the whispers from the servants. I know I was not their first born, but I was the only one to carry the mark of the moon, the mark of her Goddess. My Sire did not give a damn about looks. It is my dame that must have perfections in all things tied to her, even with the mark as a sign of good fortune within the silver Inu clan, she never seemed to approve of this Sesshomaru. For this Sesshomaru is not as skilled as either my sire or my dame in the arts of battle. I have to train nearly twice as hard and almost every waking moment to appear as close to perfect as I can to please Mother. The only things I excel at are those of the scholar, things of science. Only, these do not please Mother and do not matter to Father._

_ That is to say, they didn't, until I showed Father a whole new side to pranks. Using what I learned, I flooded the north side of the fortress with a foul smelling smoke, causing the meeting with the Southern Lord to come to an unforeseen end. Father had to know more, and I discovered something new and surprising: father and son bonding can happen without the use of a sword. Again, Mother was not happy._

A.N.: Hey there, so, here is the next installment! I hope you like the first glimpse into Sesshy's past. Right now Sesshy is about 13-15 in human years. Yea, it's gonna get a little bumpy throughout the journal and relationships are going to get a little dicey. I hope you stick with it and see how everyone grows and develops! See you soon! Review please!

Beta by the Amazing Smo! You've created a writing monster, I hope you know this…

Thanks, Ceysna  
(Again this is my original work, first posted on Dokuga)


	3. Ch 2: His Hurt, Breath

_Ch 2: His Hurt, Breath_

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own or make money from any of the InuYasha characters. All Rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

A.N.: Here is the next chapter! Beta by the Amazing Smo!

Warning: There is some dark imagery in this chap. If you are against child abuse, you may not want to read.

_Flash Backs/Journal Entries_

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

**"Beast"**

Chapter 2: His Hurt, Breath

Her eyes drifted down the page, reaching the end of the entry. She sat back to take a breath, letting it sink in. The young beauty's mind was racing a million miles a second. This wasn't just some ancient document or even a simple journal of some feudal human lord. This heavy tome sitting so innocently on her desk was the private journal of a creature of what was now legend - a daiyoukai. However, he was not just any daiyoukai, but the most powerful one in demon history. The Western Lord, Sesshomaru, who was also known as the killing perfection and an aristocratic assassin.

Rubbing her hands over her face, Kagome sighed, just trying to keep breathing. This was a glimpse into his past, while his noble parents were still alive and together. Her eyes widened, 'Maybe hundreds or even thousands of years before InuYasha was born! Okay, Kags, breathe. In, out, in, out. Calm, you don't need to be hyperventilating from a book.' She told herself, brushing long, raven's wing black hair behind her ear. Turning back to the ancient journal, she turned the page to find a sketch taking up both pages. Leaning in closer, she saw that it was a diagram of the night sky, the stars and consolations labeled in what she now thought to be some old demonic language.

Fascinated, she made a note to look at it more closely later and see if they might match any night sky in modern times. Smiling, Kagome turned to the next page, only to stop short. It was another sketch, only this one was disturbing. Ink that had grayed over time showed a towering female in flowing robes and long, light colored hair. She was drawn in traditional Japanese art style, raising a clawed hand to strike a child cowering at her feet with droplets running down from a wound on his cheek. The child, also in long flowing robes with light hair that fell to the small of his back, looked to be holding scrolls and papers close to his chest protectively, almost tenderly. They looked to be royalty from the quality of their robes. Her heart breaking at the vivid image, Kagome looked over to the next opposite page and began translating the script. She was almost frantic to know the details behind both the diagram and the violent image.

_Journal Entry_

_ This Sesshomaru is very pleased with Father at the present. He has assigned a star gazer to this Sesshomaru! The owl demon is very old, forgetting his train of thought easily, repeating himself many a times. However, I do not mind listening to his wizen old voice long into the night, as he speaks of many tales regarding the stars and where they come from, sharing his wisdom and instilling it into my memory for many years to come. Currently, the old owl is working on a secret project. A looking glass that will allow the user to see stars farther than the demon eye can see! This Sesshomaru is looking forward to the completion of this __telescope,__ as he calls it, with great anticipation._

_ This Sesshomaru is to present maps of the night sky I have drawn to Father tomorrow in his private study. They are for better navigation during night and to plot out safer travel routes of travel, or during times of war they would help Father in planning his battle tactics, even in foreign countries, at night. Traveling at night and making strategic decisions would be made much easier with star maps like these, seeing as the night sky was unchanging, even on nights with no moon, unlike the landscape below. With these, Father would be able to know exactly where he was at all times. This is but a small grain of rice compared to the knowledge of what the old Owl has taught the young lordling. Father made a wise decision in this tutor. The great Inu holds knowledge in high regard, as it gives him a slight edge at times of war, for this, I am glad. Father has provided adequate tutors and Sensei over the years. For now I have a fine collection of knowledge, but I still crave more._

_ Mother, however, thinks they are a waste of time. She wishes me to give up books and scholar's knowledge and focus only on the workings of war. She feels her pup should be spending every waking moment in the dojo, learning every style of combat there is. Mother views the sword or any blade more valuable than anything a scholar, tutor or star gazer could teach. Whenever Mother sees this Sesshomaru with a scroll or even with a piece of parchment, she gets angry and strikes me. After venting her displeasure, Mother then takes me to either the fighting ring or the dojo for many hours of intensive training. There are many days I contemplate beseeching Father for a tutor in magicks, just to learn a disappearing spell or one of teleportation. The very idea of disappearing from under her very claws gives this one much pleasure._

_ Even with all of Mother's less than encouraging words and forceful training to be the war monger Lord of the West she desires, she seems to be rushing me into being the 'perfect' heir to the West. This Sesshomaru, however, feels there is plenty of time for that as Father is still in his prime and this one is barely in my 250s - I'm little more than a pup! There will be many years to perfect my skills for the battlefield to please Mother before Father passes the title of Lord to his heir. I think if this One is to make a great lord once Father passes, I should first expand my mind. The heir to the West should be well knowledgeable in many areas to better serve his people. It is the Lord's duty and privilege to protect all on His land. Father once told me, "The strong protect the weak." This Sesshomaru will honor Father's words. I will prove Mother wrong; the scholar's knowledge does help in battle._

A.N.: Well, what do you guys think? Lil' Sesshy seems to have a bit of a stubborn streak to him. I wonder how that will turn out. The development of the relationships between the Inu family members is coming to light. I'm excited about how many reads this is getting! Again, this is my first story in 11 years, I'm very nervous about writing and posting this, but wow! Please Reads and Review, and PMs are welcome.

Thanks!

Ceysna


	4. Ch 3: Connetions Made, Thoughts Aloud

_Ch. 3: Connections Made, Thoughts Aloud_

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own or make money from any of the InuYasha characters. All rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

A.N.: Long time no see! Wow, so RL has been a solid B for the past few years. This chapter is not beta-ed, if you see errors, please let me know in a PM. Thanks!

_Flash Backs/Journal Entries_

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

"**Beast"**

Chapter 3: Connections made, Thoughts aloud

Rubbing her eyes, Kagome gave a tired sigh. This was getting to be too much. She couldn't believe what she was reading, but she had to. The thought of a mother, the parent that was supposed to be gentle, kind, and caring, being so cruel and cold to her only child was almost beyond what Kagome could take. How this Sesshomaru, a young inu pup who was so full of of childish wonder, with a dream and passion for learning; could become the older, colder, and deadlier version she knew and had feared.

Pushing herself back, Kagome leaned her head back and stared at the ceiling. 'Wow, and now his policy of kill first and ask questions never, almost makes sense.' She thought, when a sudden shrill beeping almost made Kagome topple her chair.

Grumbling about her near fatal phone calls, Kagome answered with a tense, "Hello?"

"Hello dear," Mrs. Higurashi greeted warmly, " I just wanted to make sure you were going to make it for dinner." She stated more firmly.

Biting back a tired sigh, Kagome tried for a cheerful confirmation,"I'll make it, Mama. Work is just taking longer than usual." Feeling drained and more than slightly unnerved that she was reading the Killing Perfection's most private thoughts, Kagome talked with her mother for a few more minutes before hanging up. Setting her phone down, Kagome glanced over at the ancient tome. Frowning, she asked herself, 'How could someone manage to be as sane as he was with that kind of up bringing?' Shaking her head, Kagome stood and began gathering her materials to take home and work on after dinner. Glancing over at the journal again, she debated bringing it home too. Giving an almost sad smile, she stooped to pick it up.

Placing it gently in her bag, Kagome mumbled out "If nothing else, it should give me something to read if I can't sleep again." With a nod of her head after checking to see if she had everything, Kagome turned the lights off and locked her door. It was time to head home, she'll think about Sesshomaru's past in more detail later tonight. 

* * *

Opening golden yellow eyes, Sesshomaru raised his regal silver head to watch Rin and the fox kit, Shippo, terrorize his kappa. Chasing him around a field of flowers, chains of said flowers nearly dragging on the ground as they hung from Jaken. The little water demon near tripping over the abundance of flowers in his haste to escape the pups and their torment, or 'fun'.

The corner of Sesshomaru's lips lifted the slightest bit, giving the smallest of smiles. Sesshomaru found himself enjoying Jaken's newest bit of torture. The pup's antics were one of the few pleasures in life he felt he could enjoy in these days. The smile, what little of it there was, left his lips as soon as it arrived. Yes 'enjoyment', was hard to come by when you are a demon lord, let alone the Lord of the West.

Sesshomaru almost frowned at that thought. 'Mother saw to it that there was nothing to _enjoy_ about being a Lord.' Being Lord had meant to keep everyone and everything at a distance, or risk to have them lost. Watching the pups silently, the demon lord found himself thinking about one odd little miko. A being whom could both find enjoyment in nearly ever aspect of life and endear herself to nearly anyone she met. She was a constant contradiction, a paradox, both powerful and frail, dangerous and gentle. She was fierce in battle and yet kind to those in her pack. The Shikon Miko, his favorite puzzle.

'Kagome.' whispered his thoughts. Yes, the young woman whom his brother more or less ignored during the shard hunt. The same female who defied him time and again. The one who showed him no fear, Him, the most powerful demon lord of Japan. The same one who haunted his thoughts and stirred his curiosity. He wondered what happened to her to have her leave her pup behind. He wondered about her often enough to make said thoughts almost an annoyance.

Glancing up as Jaken gave a rather feminine shriek as Shippo tackled him to the floor. Watching the kappa being wrapped in even more flowers, Sesshomaru found that he couldn't find it within himself to regret having known said miko. If not for her, Rin would not have Shippo as a playmate and accomplice in her games of torment for Jaken, then where would Sesshomaru get his entertainment?

A.N.: I'm Not dead! Wow, has it been a nasty few years. So yeah, hi again! Sorry for the long wait, but RL is full of chaos at the moment. I'm at least glad I was able to post! Hope you enjoy it.

Wow, Chappy 3-ish and we finally see some of the older Sesshy and his pack.

Please remember to Read and Review to feed my starving plunny! If you spot any mistakes, as this was not beta-ed, please feel free to PM me and I'll correct them.

Thanks!

Ceysna


	5. Ch 4: Remember, Home

_Ch. 4: Remember, Home_

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own or make money from any of the InuYasha characters. All rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

A.N.: *is currently a squealing pile of OMGOSH* Thank you to everyone who reviewed, this is for you! (more of my squealing-glee at the bottom)

_Flash Backs/Journal Entries_

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

"**Beast"**

Chapter 4: Remember, Home

Lounging back against an old _sugi_, Sesshomaru breathed deep. The raw scent of ceder helping to ease some the tension from his strong shoulders. Memories of his pup-hood never failed to bring a bad taste to his mouth and tension to his shoulders. 'Hundreds of years have passed and I can still feel Her claws rake open the flesh of my cheeks.' Feeling a scowl begin to settle on his pale face, Sesshomaru gave an almost silent snort. 'Mother demanded perfection, but one would think She was trying to scar my face with how often she scolded me.' Leaning his regal head against the sugi's trunk, Sesshomaru took in the scent of ceder once again in an attempt to banish the phantom pains of _Mother's Love_. A pointed elven ear twitched, drawing his attention away from his past and to the sounds of his pack.

The joyous giggles and youthful chatter of the pups could be heard from every corner of the small clearing. Shaking himself from his dark thoughts, Sesshomaru turned his gaze outward to survey his pack. A little ways from his shaded sanctuary and brooding thoughts, the pups were busy collecting ripe _ume_ from a tree across the way. Shippo was busy in the tree, climbing about to find the best ripe ones tossing a few in a small pouch and every now and then throwing a couple down to Rin to eat. Rin, on the other hand, was on the forest floor picking up any good ones that she found and feeding some to Ah-Un. Said dragon demon would happily munching on the ume. Each taking turns at grazing on the grass and delicately taking the sweet fruits from the small pup's hands.

Then there was Jaken, and Sesshomaru almost gave another snort at this one, but of laughter this time. Jaken was currently too busy untangling himself from to latest bit of flowery torment courtesy of the pups. The corners of pale lips lifted in the tiniest glimpse of a smile. Feeling very pleased, Sesshomaru had to hand it to the pups; it took great skill to hogtie the imp with flowers while never breaking or damaging the stems or petals. 'Maybe with a few more years of practice the kit might be ready for some formal training and who knows, if this one is feeling generous, might even take him hunting.'

Maybe in the future, but first he was going to make sure that both pups got to enjoy being young before he began any real training of any kind. He might be a product of his Mother's "parenting" and Father's training, but he would never do to his young charges what he went through.

Watching as Shippo and Rin began to chase Jaken around while trying to feed him _ume_, he felt a pang of regret and small amount of jealousy. Sesshomaru scoffed internally at this, 'I do not feel jealous of the pups.'

At this Sesshomaru felt his beast rouse enough to put his two yen in,"**Yes you do. By being the Alpha our Dame and Sire were not you are ensuring they have the safety and freedom you never could have as a pup. They do not know pain of fear by your own claw but happiness and security. What is there not to be jealous of?" **

Sesshomaru almost growled aloud at this. He didn't see what the point was of feeling jealous of their happiness or regret for what he could not change. He could not turn back time nor could he have a say in his raising. 'What was done is done. My pup-hood was an unpleasant one and there is no reclaiming what is lost.' Glancing at the pups one last time, Sesshomaru turned his face away from their antics, silently vowing to never repeat the past, 'They shall never know the pain of a parent's wrath. Never.' 

* * *

After nearly an hour spent on a cramped train followed by another 20 minutes walk, Kagome finally gazed up at the ancient steps of the Higurashi Shrine. Even after such a long commute across Tokyo, Kagome still felt full of energy, enough even to tackle these steps. Being in very good shape despite having a desk job did have it's advantages. 'Thanks to years of running all over feudal Japan, fighting rogue demons and evil hanyou bent on world domination when on one side of the well, and then running up and down these stairs when on this side.' Kagome thought to herself, only to grumble mentally, 'Can't believe I'm actually thankful for InuYasha's nagging about weak humans.' Shrugging she started up the ancient stairs, 'Could be worse I guess. I could have a flabby butt or worse, a flat one from sitting at my desk all day. Then I'd look more like _Jiji_ or Kaede walking up the stairs.' Jogging up the final steps, Kagome gave a quiet giggle and thanked her lucky stars she wasn't winded by the time she got to the top.

Smiling at the sight of the old shrine Higurashi family home. Kagome breathed a happy sigh and started for the door. Mrs. Higurashi had promised to make Kagome's favorite, _oden_ for dinner, if she made it home in time and not ungodly late like she usually did. 'Great motivation if I do say so myself!'

Kagome's mind had been preoccupied with thoughts of Sesshomaru's journal the entire train ride. Now, however, she found them turning to focus on more important things, like the delicious taste of her mother's cooking. She forgot, if only for a short while, the stress and slight anxiety Sesshomaru's journal had left her with since it fell into her hands.

How a human could have acquired his journal was almost a frightening thought for Kagome. She didn't think he would just hand it off willy-nilly, knowing that it held some of his most private of thoughts. Memories from his childhood and revealed some of his most undignified and less than lordly moments. Some of which would be both painful and damaging to any living creature. Kagome had run several scenarios and situations through her mind about how exactly that journal came to rest on her desk. Most results being less than cheerful and all leaving her with more questions than answers. The most repeated and most unnerving one being; what happened and where is Sesshomaru?

A.N.: WOW! I mean, really, wow! I love the reviews guys! I wasn't too sure about the last chapter, it being a little short, but I'm glad I did! I am absolutely blown away by the response from you guys about my last update. I mean, wow! I can't stop my happy squeals every time I see someone has reviewed. *** **dances around in glee** * **Yay, you like me, you really like me! And I would like to thank everyone for reminding my family and myself just how bad I am at dancing and that I just don't care when I'm this happy!

Please remember to Read and Review to feed my starving plunny! If you spot any mistakes, as this was not beta-ed, please feel free to PM me and I'll correct them.

Sugi – Japanese ceder tree.

Ume – Japanese plum.

Oden – a Japanese winter dish consisting of several ingredients such as boiled eggs, daikon, konjac, and processed fishcakes stewed in a light, soy-flavored dashi broth. Ingredients vary according to region and between each household. Karashi is often used as a condiment. (looks pretty tastie!)

Jiji – Means old man, grandfather, grandpa, gramps etc, in Japanese. Also Oji-san and Oyaji.

Thanks!

Ceysna


	6. Ch 5: Old Pain, Shadowed Questions

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own or make money from any of the InuYasha characters. All rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

A.N.: Thank you to everyone who reviewed.

_Flash Backs/Journal Entries  
_'Thoughts'

"Speech"

"**Beast"  
**

Chapter 5: Old Pain, Shadowed Questions

Kagome stepped into her room, towel drying her hair from her resent shower. Bedroom door closing with a soft click, she glanced at the bag on her desk, the one used to take projects back and forth from work. The ancient journal calling to her from within even now. Kagome pursed her lips in a slight frown. Ever since the well had closed Kagome had tried her best to block out all thoughts of the past, her friends and family, her adventures, all of it. It hurt too much to think about those whom she could never see again, even those whom she only knew in passing, like Sesshomaru and his group.

However, all throughout dinner and the commute from the museum that book haunted her mind, her every thought. And with it, thoughts and old worries of her friends had surfaced. Questions about what happened to them, why could she find nothing of them, and even where were they? She knew demons could live for hundreds, even thousands of years, but there was no sign of any of them in her time. She feared what this could mean; for her, her friends, any of it.

She couldn't stop random thoughts or whispered questions from wandering through her mind, getting louder the longer she went without answers. Her mind turning into a garbled mess of thoughts and worries for her friends and questions of Sesshomaru's past swirling around one another. Some were shouted louder, different and distinct enough to make it through the mess to be asked, while others were too twisted and incoherent to be understood.

'Did any of it even happen? Could it all have been a dream? A nightmare?'

'Did Sesshomaru ever get to enjoy simple things like evening meals?'

'Was Shippo ok? Who was watching over her son?'

'When was the last time he laughed? Could Sesshomaru even laugh? Did he know how?'

'What happened to Sango and Miroku? Did they ever marry? What of their children?'

'Did he know what a hug was? Did Sesshomaru ever hug Rin?'

'Were they ok?'

'How did he remain sane?'

Resting back on the bed, Kagome glanced back over to her bag. Biting her lower lip, Kagome laid her head back on the headboard with a sigh. Maybe it was time she looked for evidence of her adventures once more. Find any clues about what happened after she was pulled back to her time to good.

Kagome blinked back tears that unexpectedly flooded her eyes. The last memories of her time on the other side of the well was one of the hardest things for her to bear. Closing her eyes, she let her mind take her back to those final moments in the past.

_~~Flash back~~_

_ As the dust and smoke had cleared from the final battle against Naraku, Kagome had to limp over to the pile of clothe and sparkling dust that was Naraku's remains. Wincing as she knelt and dug through the pile, revealing black shards of the Shikon purifying them on contact. Adding them to her own collection, Kagome had held her breath. Watching as they melted together, creating the whole and now pure, Shikon no Tama. Holding the pure jewel in her hands, she smiled softly. Eyes closed she gave a tired sigh, relief flooding her body as one thought became clear above all else, it was over._

_ About to get up and tell the others, Kagome froze, feeling the jewel emit a strong, heavy pulse of pure power. Eyes flying open, Kagome felt her breath catch. The jewel had begun to glow a soft white, growing brighter by the second. Gasping at the heat it was generating, Kagome had just enough time to raise her head, locking eyes with those of her adopted son, Shippo. Her mouth opening to speak, to tell him she loved him, to tell him goodbye, anything! She never got the chance. With a final pulse of the jewel, Kagome found herself kneeling inside the old well, on her side of the time gap. Glancing back down into her hands, Kagome watched in stunned silence as the jewel melted into her skin. Sinking deeper within her being, melding with her very soul, never to be pulled from her body again._

_ It had taken her a long time for the reality of her situation to finally sink in. The cursed jewel had finally gone and she was on the wrong side of the well. That she was trapped in her time never to see her friends again. Her son now hundreds of years out of her reach. This one final thought had sent her into a near panic. Ignoring her injuries from the final battle, Kagome spent the following hours jumping back and forth into the well, trying desperately to will it open and send her back to her son. After one final jump and her injuries could be ignored no longer. As one of her ankles gave a loud popping sound followed by white hot pain shooting up her leg. Earlier it had been seriously twisted and strained during the final battle. She had made a mad dash from a blood thirsty demon who was hell bent on her demise. Jumping over the remains of a giant snake demon Kagome had landed hard on one foot, twisting her body around to fire an arrow back at her attacker. She hadn't noticed the injury at the time but now she was tired and no longer distracted by various things trying to kill her. The stress and strain her body had suffered all came rushing to the forefront. She collapsed into a heap at the bottom of the well, darkness swallowing her mind and vision. She knew no more._

_ It was well after sunset by the time her mother found her._

_ She had been curled up at the bottom of the well. A tiny ball of misery and despair, tears leaking from the corners of her eyes, her rest fitful. Her mother had called to her softly, growing more insistent when her daughter did not answer, unease making her voice crack. Mrs. Higurashi ended up climbing down into the depths of the well, wanting to see if Kagome was injured and therefore, unconscious. When she didn't respond to her mother's gentle prodding and attempts to wake her, Mrs. Higurashi became worried. She had seen dried blood and cuts all over her daughter, her uniform torn and barely covering her at all. What little Mrs. Higurashi could see left her to believe there were more serious injuries that the dim light would not reveal. After climbing back out of the well, Mrs. Higurashi ran to the house and called the local fire department to get her out and assess her daughter's well being._

_ There had been many injuries, most of them small, bruises and small cuts had covered most of the exposed skin. Then there were the serious ones; her left ankle was broken, two of her ribs were cracked and a long, deep gash on the outside of her right leg, running from ankle to hip. Blood had continued to slowly ooze from it even after the medics had stitched it closed. Her broken ankle and torso had been wrapped to hold them until they could get her to the local hospital. Mrs. Higurashi traveled in the back of the ambulance in complete silence, watching her pale child, worry and slight fear for her only daughter stealing her voice._

~~~End Flashback~~~

Opening her eyes, Kagome reached down and rubbing her right leg absently. It had taken some months for that one to fully heal. She had taken nearly a year to fuller recover, both physically and mentally. The stress of being ripped from her child and friends, of not even being allowed the choice of where to call home had left her in a state of questionable sanity at best. All the while her mother stood guard. Healing what only a mother could, her daughter's soul and heart. Only Mrs. Higurashi knew while it was like to be separated from your child without warning, having experiences the same thing the first time Kagome fell down the bone eater's well. Finally, after nearly a year, Mrs. Higurashi felt she could breath easy once more. That Kagome's mental state was stable enough that she didn't need to be watched so closely.

It had been soon after that Souta had approached Kagome for help on one of his homework assignments. He was to look over careers and see what he might wish to do once he left for college and after the fact. This had triggered Kagome to nearly have a panic attack. What was she going to do now? In the past she was a mother and miko, her life had been based around these two things, now in modern times, she was a girl with barely passing grades and spotty attendance at best, what college would accept her? And even if she could get into college, what would she study for? How could she afford it? With these last couple of questions in her mind Kagome had addressed the issue to her mother.

Mrs. Higurashi had just smiled and asked, "Why don't you look into a career path that leads to the past?"

A.N.: Warning! Updates will be sporadic at best, but I shan't give up! I will write this story to the bitter end! These plunnies will be exorcised from my brain case and finally give me peace!

PS: Do to a family emergency, my husband's grandfather recently passed, the story may take on a more serious note and follow Sesshomaru's life as he grew a matured as well as after the jewel disappeared, taking the miko with it. Hopefully you'll still like it.

Please remember to Read and Review to feed my starving plunny! If you spot any mistakes, as this was not beta-ed, please feel free to PM me and I'll correct them.

Thanks!

Ceysna


	7. Ch 6: Lunchtime Reading, Silent Longing

Ch. 6: Lunchtime Reading, Silent Longing

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own or make money from any of the InuYasha characters. All rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

A.N.: Thank you to everyone who reviewed.

_Flashbacks/Journal Entries  
_'Thoughts'

"Speech"

"**Beast"**

**Ch. 6:** Lunchtime Reading, Silent Longing

The next morning, Kagome soon established that her focus was completely missing for anything work related. Even the demon Lord's journal could not hold her attention for longer than half a page. A pounding headache grew the longer she tried to force herself to focus when her mind was so against it. Finally, after struggling halfway through the morning, she gave up. Pushing herself away from her desk, the ex-time traveler headed to the break room. Walking down the hallways in the back of the museum Kagome grumbled to herself 'Maybe some coffee would help.' She stopped as a loud growl reverberated down the halls. Eyes wide and cheeks flaming red, Kagome covered her stomach in embarrassment, 'or some food.'

Snagging the last cup of coffee Kagome's next stop was the staff fridge. After heating some water and microwaving her rice she sat down at one of the few empty tables that were littered across the room. 'Real food!' the miko internally sighed over her instant miso soup and rice. While eating, she read some of her notes on the shikon legends that she brought with her, hoping that maybe something familiar would help her refocus her mind.

Sifting through the information she had gathered over the years the miko soon found herself making a series of unsatisfied faces. Every paragraph she read left her less focused on work and more on her past. The bits and pieces of half garbled myths and legends about the mysterious shikon jewel and its guardians left her with more questions than answers. And as to the whereabouts of her friends lost to time itself, there was nothing! It looked like after the disappearance of the Jewel her companions all but vanished. There were no traces of demon slayers or wind controlling monks. Nothing on demon fighting hanyous or kitsune kits who had befriended humans. And absolutely nothing at all on the powerful inu demon Lord who protects a small human girl or defended a human village against an evil, overpowered, Jewel crazed spider!

It was almost like her past never happened at all. In fact according to her history books, it didn't! Even the records at the Higurashi shrine never mention her companions. It frustrated her to no end!

If that journal had never crossed her desk Kagome feared she may have even started to believe it was all made up. That it was all just some 15 year old girl's fantasies of adventure and romance. The scars left on her body were the only things that remained as proof of everything that had happened down the Bone Eater's Well had actually happened at all. And yet, even those were beginning to fade.

There was no turning back now, after reviewing her notes Kagome was left less than satisfied. If anything she was hungrier for answers than ever before, her near obsession for answers rekindled a new! Mental gears spinning at full tilt, generating questions on what exactly happened after she left. Setting the file down the Miko came to one solid conclusion.

She needed to know why her friends were all erased from history. What was she missing?

Silence permeated the temporary campsite of Sesshomaru's pack. The small fire had long since burned down to bright coals. Ah-Un was curled protectively around the small pups; the little human pup and the Miko's even smaller kitsune. While Jaken, being disliked by the kitsune for how he treated Rin, slept leaning against a tree stump close by. With all of his pack safely held in dreamland, the camp was shrouded in both silence and peace. Sesshomaru's mind, however, was not on his sleeping charges but far away. His thoughts ranged from his role as Lord of the West, to the Shikon Miko who disappeared from sight before his very eyes.

The council has been making a fuss recently about him needing a mate, as well as an heir. The idiots in his court would never leave him to have a pleasant life, Western Lord or otherwise. Giving a mental growl at the audacity of his so called 'advisers' recommendations. 'Simpletons. Useless all of them.' He mentally snorted. It was their opinion that even though he was less than 500 years old, the traditional age a Lord would take a mate for heirs sake, that he should seek out a female that was most likely give him strong, pure blood pups. Since he got his arm back and therefore was more "appealing", he scoffed internally, females should be near fighting each other for the chance to bed him. He felt the urge to roll his eyes. 'Vain, gold digging, empty headed bitches.' Sesshomaru had no use for them. Little more than target practice if they pestered him too much.

Releasing a near silent sigh as he shifted against his tree Sesshomaru slowly turned his eye skyward to the bright stars that littered the deep velvety blue above. The young daiyoukai found his thoughts straying from his duty as lord to the more whimsical and pleasant things. Such as his longing for freedom from his shackles or lordship placed upon him by his unwitting father. Speaking of father, Sesshomaru felt a quiet growl escape his lips with a flash of deadly fangs, he found himself following his father's path. Sesshomaru was in quite the dilemma. The council wanted him to mate with a demoness as soon as possible, but he desired the company of the shikon miko that has left his world. He found the Miko to be entirely too intriguing to let her out of his thoughts. She was an annoyance and human above all and yet at the same time she was a welcome distraction from the pressures of his duties as Lord. The little miko was tender and soft, honest and fair. She was so completely different from every other female in his life. So completely foreign from everything he'd known while growing up.

As Sesshomaru sat deep in thought, secretly yearning for the miko from the future. He found himself hoping that she was looking at the same moon as he was and maybe she was thinking of him as well. That thought gave him pause. Does she think of this Sesshomaru? Perhaps were they even under the same sky? At this thought the Western Lord allowed a small, fleeting smile to grace his lips. Maybe he'd see her again and ask her.

A.N.:

Sorry for the LONG wait, but here ya go! I brand spanking new update! Happy New Year, late as it is… But hey, it's still January so it still counts!

Please remember to Read and Review to feed my starving plunny (army)! Thank you to the AMAZING InuGirl245 for being the driving force behind this update, as well as my beta.

Thanks!

Ceysna


	8. Ch 7: Study Hard, Life Lessons

**Ch. 7: **Study Hard, Life Lessons

Disclaimer: I do not claim to own or make money from any of the InuYasha characters. All rights belong to Rumiko Takahashi.

A.N.: Thank you to everyone who reviewed. They REALLY help get the words flowing! Wow, I'm on a roll! Let's see if I can keep this up.

_Flashbacks/Journal Entries_

'Thoughts'

"Speech"

"**Beast"**

**Ch. 7:** Study Hard, Life Lessons

After finishing her meal and cleaning up, Kagome grabbed her notes and began to make her way back to her office. Eyes on the floor in front of her, deep in thought. In fact, she was so deep in thought that the young woman never noticed as a door opened right in front of her.

A muffled thump sounded in the halls accompanied by a feminine squeak of surprise. With a mental sigh Kagome backed up a couple of steps, gently rubbing her now sore nose. 'What a time for my clumsy side to kick in. And at work too.' She grumbled at her less than favorable luck.

"Ms. Higurashi, are you alright?" A kind, elderly and slightly startled voice asked in concern before her.

Kagome could feel the blood flood her cheeks in embarrassment. Peeking through her bangs at the museum's owner, and worse her boss, standing before her. The miko gave a sheepish smile and answered him, "I'm fine Mr. Taishou. Just kind of lost in thought and not paying much attention to my surroundings."

The older gentleman gave her a kind smile. Shaking his head, his voice took on a more teasing note when he purposed lightly "How about you take a break from terrorizing the museum's doors and give me an update on your progress with the journal, hm?" Smiling good naturedly, Kagome nodded her agreement. Walking around the door Kagome followed Mr. Taishou down the halls to his office at the very back of the museum. As they walked Mr. Taishou asked how her work was coming and if she had found anything of interest yet.

Kagome silently thought it over for a minute, feeling more than a little conflicted. Should she answer her boss honestly and tell him everything or should she skim over some of the more personal bits and save face for her once ally? 'I'm currently translating the private thoughts of the young "Killing Perfection" and his most embarrassing moments in his life. How do you tell your boss you're reading about a kid who is being abused for being a kid?!' Face scrunched up in thought, she answered as best she could, "Well the contents are not easy to read. The translations are taking longer than normal for me. Some of the journal seems to have been severely damaged, sometimes whole sections are missing. Plus the characters used are very old, older than almost anything I've seen. So finding exact meanings for them is taking sometime." Kagome paused when they reached his office door, waiting patiently as he unlocked it.

nodded, a thoughtful frown between his bushy eyebrows. Opening the door he stepped back, gesturing kindly for her to go ahead of him. "Ladies first Ms. Higurashi. Wouldn't want you bumping into this one too." Silent laughter lighting up his eyes at his teasing.

Groaning, Kagome hung her head in embarrassment yet again. "I'm never going to live that down, am I ?" She asked amicably, walking by him into the room before taking a seat before his desk.

Chuckling, the old man shook his head and answered back, "Not likely Ms. Higurashi." Moving behind the large, old oak desk, Mr. Taishou lowered himself into the high backed chair. "Well at least not any time soon, I should say." A pained grimace flashed across his face as his knees and a few more joints popped loudly due to old age. Leaning back he waved a slightly wrinkled hand for her to continue the report.

As Kagome made herself comfortable some of her earlier curiosity poked it's head up. She was more than a little curious as to the people that loaned the old journal to the museum in the first place. Glancing up when the old man made his way through the office toward his desk chair. 'And I'm more than a little curious about 's involvement.' The coincidence of her boss, the very man to assign her the job, sharing the same name as both InuYasha's and Sesshomaru's father was a little more than she could take sitting down. 'Could they be related at all?' At this Kagome bit her lower lip in nervous apprehension. If he wasn't involved any more than handing her the journal, she could make herself look insane if she was wrong. 'Oh yea, that would go REALLY well. "Hey Mr. Taishou, are you by any chance related to an inu demon lord and inu hanyou? You know, they have silver hair, talons like steel, fangs? Yeah, the demons males who helped me slay an evil spider obsessed with an overpowered marble some 500 years ago, or more." Yep, wouldn't make me look crazy at all. Not a chance.'

Kagome watched her thumb run along the folder's edge in her lap absently, considering her options. 'But if he does know anything, anything at all, I could get answers to some of my questions concerning the past.' The young woman clenched her fist, her resolution strong. 'I have to know. Anything is better than not knowing. If I'm careful, I can test the waters a bit. See what his reactions are to certain bits of information. I just have to choose my words carefully.' Taking a fortifying breath, 'I can do this. I have to know!'

Placing the folder containing her private notes on the Shikon legends in her lap, Kagome sat back a moment to collect her thoughts on the journal. A slight furrowing of her brows was the only outward sign of her discomfort of the topic of conversation. Taking a breath Kagome looked back to her boss and continued her report, "Well aside from my difficulties with the writing used and the slight language barrier due to how old the dialect is there isn't much to report. It seems to have been the journal of a boy of some status. Royalty if you will. He speaks of his training to become some great lord to his people. Suffering harsh punishments for any sort of failures he may make." Pausing once more, the ex-guardian watched her boss closely for his reaction.

The elderly man closed his eye as he listened to her speak, focusing solely on her words. Nodding his understanding he said "Yes, yes. Very common for ancient royal families to be harsh on children. Any hints as to the boy's location at the time? Maybe the territory's name, perhaps? There were times when there were many supposed 'Royal Families' in the past." During his questionings he made little air quotes at the mention of royal families, causing an old jade bracelet secured around his wrist to rattle a bit with the motion.

Kagome shifted in her seat as the stirrings of nervousness made themselves known. 'How to go about this…' Stiffening her back, the miko carefully selected her words, "There is talk of a kingdom. The boy repeatedly mentions the Western Lands. And its ruler, a Inu no Taishou." Kagome watched her boss very carefully through lowered lashes.

The museum's owner just raised a brow, "Is that right? Taishou isn't exactly a very common name. This should be most interesting. Let me know if you find out any more on this." He said, amusement clear in his voice. "I should think it would be very interesting to find out if we're related, distant as it would be, that boy and myself."

Nodding her agreement, Kagome promised she'd keep him informed on the subject. Afterwards she stayed, talking over some of her other projects she had been working on besides the journal. Soon enough though she had to excuse herself to go back to work. Making her way to the door, Kagome bowed to Mr. Taishou before exiting the office but before she fully closed the door she paused, thinking the elder might have had something else he wished to mention before she completely left, and listened. Suspicion made her keep quiet at what she heard.

Mr. Taishou gave a slight humorless chuckle, sitting back in his chair, eyes looking off into the distance. He muttered to himself, "Taishou, should have thought of that before." Sighing deeply, the old man rubs his eyes beneath his glasses. 'That name really isn't very common. Should have known better, she was always a smart one.' The museum owner gave a sardonic half smile. "So royalty, huh? Me, a royal, a real life blue blood." He shook his head, eyes closing in rest or thought, one couldn't say. "Who'd have thought."

'What did I miss?' Shaking her head, Kagome silently closed the door. Frowning to herself, 'What was that about?' Making her way back down the halls to her office, the miko was left with one more thing to ponder. The oddness of her boss' behavior.

Finally making it to her office, Kagome stuffed her Shikon folder into her take home bag, still thoughtful. 'Mr. Taishou had said the journal was on loan. And from one of the oldest families in Japan. Could they be related, Mr. Taishou and these people?' Sitting down in her desk chair, the young woman turned her eyes to the ancient journal, laying oh so innocently on her desk. Slate blue eyes sparked with interest as a new thought sprang forth, 'Or could they be related to Sesshomaru some how? Or even, could Sesshomaru himself, be the one loaning this to the museum?' Eyes widened in a kind of nervous excitement. 'Could Sesshomaru actually be a alive?'

After the impromptu meeting with her boss over her progress with the journal, Kagome felt ready to get some more work done. 'Maybe one of these pages will explain how this journal got here. Maybe InuYasha's dad had another child?' Brows furrowed, the young woman nodded to herself resolutely. Kagome made quick work of gathering her notes and resources, like the older books that show the closest character translations, she needed. Not ten minutes later found the young miko hard at work sorting through the many pages of the journal, looking for the next section she had left to translate.

Finally coming to a stop at a new set of childish drawings. One of them seemed to be of a man in power being bowed to by smaller figures that surrounded him. The other seemed to be of a battle or at least part of it. Half of the drawing showed two warriors locked in combat while the other was of a man, another warrior if the armor was anything to go by, beating on a mother protecting her child.

Lips pursed in disapproval at the last image Kagome felt a little sick at what she might find in this passage. After the journal entry showing a young Sesshomaru being beaten by his own mother Kagome wasn't sure if she wanted to continue. In fact, there were only two things that moved her hand toward her pen and note book. The first being her dedication to her work, no matter how unpleasant parts of it could be. The second, and most important, thing being this may be the only way she would find out anything about the aftermath of the Shikon's final battle.

_Journal Entry_

_For the second time in this Sesshomaru's life, I have been praised! But this isn't from Father for some new type of mischief, but for my efforts and scholastic skills. Hoshi no Chie -sensei not only approved of my latest star charts but he praises them! He comments on the amount of detail I put into them and how accurate they are. When it comes to working on the maps for the night sky, or any other field of study, I have found myself to be a very attentive student. I work very diligently on them and Sensei said it shows. Chie-sensei joked that if being the lord of the west doesn't work out for me that I could always join him in the field as his assistant. He said that with my better sight and how I pay so much attention to the details that I could make a name for myself as a scholar for the skies. It seems to truly be a shame that I was born as a lord's son and only heir._

_He has given me an idea though. A simple glimpse into exactly what I could have achieved, done or even been had I not been born to the ruling family of the West. I could have done something different in this life. I could have found better ways to use my skills with an ink brush instead of the sword. Maybe even expand upon my scholastic skills and become a philosopher and not a battle hardened war lord._

_But even so, it seems that my talent with a brush and ink will at least be put to use. Chie-sensei is going to present the new charts and my latest sky maps to Father during his next report of my progress. If Father finds them to be acceptable enough they may be put to use in the kingdom before long. Merchants could use them to better plot their trading routes both on land and sea. The soldiers of the West can use them for night patrols so the new recruits don't end up lost if they get left behind during drills or combat._

_Sensei once told me that maps are a tactician's most valuable asset, even more so than soldiers. That it could begin and end a war in a matter of days instead of the weeks, months or even the years that going in blind could do. He said that an entire war could be won through excellent planning, using the terrain to your advantage. Picking exactly where the battles take place to better your chances at victory and minimize loss on your side, both in life, land and supplies._

_I often wonder just how many of the things I have learned already, and then how much more I still need to learn, to be even close to as good a lord as my Father is. How much did my father have to learn before he could take his position as lord? For how does a lord become so great? What even makes a lord a great ruler and leader? It is because of Father that I am even allowed to continue my scholastic studies beyond the basic reading, writing and the simplest of math skills that the other cardinal lords use. They barely seem to use their minds at all for the documents they sign that run their empires. Can they not comprehend how much their lands could benefit and flourish if they would put their swords down for even one moment and instead even glanced at a scroll? For what purpose does one's skills with a blade even serve in times of peace? How does one rule a people successfully if all they know is war, combat and destruction?_

_Honestly, I am astounded that the four kingdoms have even lasted thing long. What with the battle happy generals that each lord retains and the civil wars that break out every decade or so. I find it amazing that anything is left of Japan._

_At least Father is not as small minded as those fools. He seems to understand a strong mind will add to a strong body and make for an even stronger leader. Mother is still convinced that my studies are foolish. She thinks Father is spoiling me with indulging in my "childish whims and desires". That my constant use of the brush will make my hands too weak to wield a weapon. She even goes so far as to blame my lack of skills in combat on my scholastic senseis, as if they are poisoning her "perfect" son and heir._

_Mother insists that any and all combat training should take priority over my scholastic studies. I do not understand why my dame is so very against my studies in the libraries. Isn't strength, both mental and physical, needed for a harmonic balance? For it was my understanding that a demon's inner power, their very essence, to be best utilized and wielded successfully only when one's mind and physical body are of equal standing. Or one will never reach their full and greatest potential in their power and abilities._

_My martial arts instructor, one Honoka Sento-sensei, the only grey kitsune I have ever seen, has been trying to drill this very concept into my mind for the last few months. She has been trying to instruct me in a new philosophy, a teaching from the mainland, the idea of Yin and Yang. It focuses on balance of the inner and outer self. That if one is greater than the other, than the smaller might be overpowered by the larger, and that you as a whole shall be destroyed from within. That if the body out matches the mind, the mind or inner self, will be shattered. And if the mind is too powerful for the body or outer self, then the outer could be broken. Once again, the being as a whole would be annihilated. All due to an imbalance._

_Mother and Sento-sensei seem to always be butting heads as to how to 'properly' train the Western heir. Mother insists on focusing on my combat training while Sensei stays firm on her stance of my need for a balance of equal parts study and training. That fox, she is going to push my Mother too far one day. Mother is not one to be denied._

_I fear for Sento-sensei. This Sesshomaru prays to the Kami above that my fears are just my paranoia. Sensei is the best the Western lands has to offer for a hand to hand combat instructor. So for now, Mother can not replace her. For now, Sensei is safe from Mother's wrath._

_Is there a way to balance my inner most desires and thirst for knowledge with my responsibilities as Western heir and eventual Lord? Can a scholar, philosopher, really become a seasoned warrior and leader for an empire? _

_I hope so._

A.N.:

Thanks again to all who reviewed last chap. This update was brought to you by InuGirl294's _great_ efforts to get me writing again. She tolerates my crazy to help bring you to the worlds of Journal! *waves tiny flag* woah! Wow, this chapter is the largest one yet! A monster, by my standards, at 3,326 words.

Translations:

Sensei - If broken down, Sen means "previous" and sei is "birth". I literally mean "person born before another". Understandably explains why teachers are called Sensei, as the older generations educate the younger.

Honoka Sento - Honoka "harmony", Sento "combat". As his combat instructor I wanted the character to be very mindful of the need for a strict need of perfect balance to a ruler. I wanted them to be both understanding about the need to better one's mind as well as their body.

Hoshi no Chie - It literally means "Star Wisdom". Chie - sensei, as a character, reminded me of the older male teacher you had as a kid that reminded you more of a grandpa or old uncle that a teacher. Easy to for a strong bond with and you looked forward to spending time with them.

Please remember to Read and Review to feed my starving plunny! If you spot any mistakes, please feel free to PM me and I'll correct them.

Thanks!

Ceysna


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